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Shiiiiit!!!!

Before I write this post I have to make it clear, that this is not a serious analysis of Shannons character, but rather a documentation of several jokes and made-up/exaggerated stories, which form the basis of the humour in this house, because we all agree that reality should not be in the way of a good story.

Today, on the way to the kitchen for a coffee, I was informed by Shannon that the toilet was clogged. Of course we have no plunger, just as it has never occurred to us to get a screwdriver or any other useful tool. But I haven't been a student/nomad/disorganised person for 30+ years without having learned a trick or two.
I picked up one empty plastic bottle (two liters is a good size for these kind of operation) and a pair of gloves, stuck the bottle down the drain and started squeezing. At this point I felt thankful for having gloves because shit (literally) did come out of drain.
Unfortunately gloves do not protect one from the inevitable splashing in this procedure. Despite the ... release... of bits and the resulting color change of the water the toilet remained clogged. At this point, Shannon had a look and remarked that this might be one of hers.
This was when I started to get suspicious. Shannon does have a strange fascination with having people interact with her , emmm, products. Jill (who has been friends with her since childhood and has traveled extensively with her) did storm out of her room in alarm one day when Shannon wanted to show me "something" in the bathroom. She wanted to save me from possible trauma, but it turned out Shannon had bought flowers. Before she was there to protect me we did have one (slightly influenced by alcohol) discussion about the visual effects of peeing on one of the many steep roads in Valpo.
Anyway, after some "work" with the bottle I made the mistake to think there might be improvement and flushed. The toilet filled up to the brim with smelly brown water. After some desperate laughter Shannon went to buy a plunger (I think that was a small confession) and I went to ladling the water out of the toilet with an old wine bottle (good that there is an abundance of old bottles in our house). I had reduced it to an "not in danger of overflowing" amount when she came back and we had our toiled unclogged 3 seconds later. The bathroom got a throughout bleach treatment.

Conclusion: buy a plunger, don't try the plastic bottle method unless you are a true masochist.

Why did I make this experience into a blog post? Passing on the trauma!


Posted on - Categories: Valpo


Comments:

Cheers!   Posted on 16 Jun 2013, 19:11 by The aforementioned Shannon
Mostly accurate and totally hilarious!!!



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